cancerass | IC Contact Post

MAYBE.

IS IT WEIRD THAT I COULDN'T IMAGINE BEING IN A GROUP WITH ANYONE ELSE? PROBABLY NOT.

Fucked-up people have to stick together? I don't know.

I never really thought about it before.

If I think about it, besides my neighbors you guys were they only people I really knew.

I didn't have neighbors besides Equius, but I really only knew people I gamed with. ... And a lot of them got eaten.

Not surprising. You were a FLARPer after all.

Yup!

Terezi was the only one I got close to, though. I tried making friends sometimes when I was little, before I really understood things! But then it would just make me upset when my lusus ate them, and who wants to go through that all the time?

Yeah. I can't imagine it was good for your social life.

That stopped being important after a while. All I cared about was gaming, because it was all I could care about. Good thing I thought it was fun.

Yeah. When you've got something you can't do it's best to focus on the things you can. I found something to keep myself occupied with too.

What?

MOSTLY I JUST WATCHED MOVIES. I TRIED TO DO SOME HACKING TOO, BUT I NEVER REALLY GOT VERY FAR WITH IT. I MEAN I WASN'T TERRIBLE OR ANYTHING, BUT IT WASN'T EXACTLY MY STRONG SUIT EITHER.

THEN THERE WAS THE WHOLE THRESHECUTIONER OBSESSION. FEELS KIND OF CHILDISH IN RETROSPECT, BUT. Y'KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT. IT WAS A PRETTY COOL ASPIRATION.

And I bet it's something humans would freak out about if they knew.

WHATEVER. IT'S NOT LIKE I WOULD HAVE EVER BEEN ABLE TO BE ONE ANYWAY.

Why not? If Alternia had survived they'd still be around.

WHY DO YOU THINK? THEY'D NEVER LET SOMEONE LIKE ME JOIN THEIR RANKS. I'D HAVE TO DO SOMETHING EITHER PRETTY AMAZING OR ABSURDLY CONVOLUTED.

What, and you think you couldn't have done that? Bullshit! If you were too weak you could have just made yourself stronger. If you weren't amazing you could make yourself amazing. Anything besides sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.

IT'S NOT LIKE I DIDN'T THINK I COULD. IT'S-

[Oh right. Vriska's from pretty far back. THAT far back though?]

I DIDN'T EXACTLY DOUBT MYSELF. I HAD THOUGHT OF TONS OF DIFFERENT SCENARIOS TOWARDS THIS PIPE DREAM. IF I COULD GET IN ON SKILL ALONE, NO PROBLEM. BY THE TIME I WAS NINE SWEEPS OLD I'D PROBABLY BE MORE THAN READY FOR IT.

So what's the problem?

...

WOAH. YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW DO YOU?

Obviously I don't!

WELL.

IN THAT CASE LET'S JUST SAY I WOULDN'T BE FIT FOR ANY JOB AND LEAVE IT AT THAT.

CASTE ISSUES OR WHATEVER.

Oh, that. I figured that out a long time ago! You have really low blood, don't you? Maybe even as low as Aradia.

SURE.

Come on, what color? It's not like it matters much anymore!

IT DOESN'T REALLY.

[...]

TELL YA WHAT. IF YOU CAN GUESS IT, I'LL TELL YOU IF YOU'RE RIGHT. NO LYING OR DENYING IT.

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